you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
