it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
