im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
