The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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