Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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