I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize