ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
