Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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