I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
