WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
