the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
