I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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