Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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