Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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