it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
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What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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