sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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