I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
