I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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