Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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