i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
