we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
