Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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