Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
