I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
