i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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