My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize