she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
