its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
