How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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