Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
