so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
