So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
