my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
