come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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