when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
