Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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