i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
