hell yes lets make some ravioli
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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