It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
