If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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