I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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