It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont even know how to be here
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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