YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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