There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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