the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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