capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
