smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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