they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
