She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize