Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
