part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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