When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
