So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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