I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
