I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Everything about him screamed your future.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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