totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
