I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
