i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
