I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
