Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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