I showed him my bush... on skype.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
