im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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