YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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