Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize