I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
